There is a really great thing that is happening in this day and age where not only is it considered ‘okay’ to be vulnerable, it’s actually encouraged. For someone born and raised in South Jersey in the 80’s, this is a very foreign concept. However, 15 years of living in California has worked its magic, and I’m getting much better at being open about life and the struggles that come along with it.
I had my first kid in 2015. Before then, life was moving pretty quick. I graduated from the Academy of Art in San Francisco in 2007 and immediately fell into photo work. I moved to Los Angeles in 2009 and promptly started working as a set photographer. 2014 saw an exciting move down to São Paulo, Brasil where I worked as a photographer and camera op on some incredible projects.
Then I had my son. I was back in the US. My former clients had (rightfully) moved on to other photographers, so for the first time since I began dedicating myself to photography back in 2004, I found myself with no jobs nor any leads. This was partly fine, as I was taking care of and breastfeeding a baby.
I stumbled upon a part-time job at a commercial casting studio. What started as 1 day a week quickly jumped to 4 days a week. What started out as an entry-level lobby assistant gig quickly turned into a more hands on, behind the scenes role. I missed photography, but this was a job that I was good at. I enjoyed being useful, and I relished the feeling of working on complicated projects without breaking a sweat.
Fast forward to now - another baby, another postpartum work hiatus. There is something really quite nerve-wracking about not working, especially for someone like myself that has worked since I was 14. (Yes, yes, I know, raising a baby is ‘the most important job of all’. Of course I love my children more than anything. But this isn’t a parenting website.) After the Christmas/New Year break, my husband and I have discussed either daycare for the little one or a nanny so I can go back to work. And while it would be a lot of fun to be back in the casting studio with people I really love and cherish, there are some really wonderful hunks of prime metal sitting in my closet, calling to me.
My goal is to dedicate some time a week to get back to the force I once was in photography. I have a quote saved on my desktop that says, “There are people less qualified than you, doing the things you want to do, simply because they’ve decided to believe in themselves.”